Happiness Skills By Karen and Kermit Rose It is easy to be happy. Unfortunately, it is also easy to be unhappy. We are going to show you in this article the paths to happiness. The skills of happiness are also skills of peace. If you are not at peace with your neighbor, you will be unhappy. Be at peace with your neighbors. We are happy when what we are and what we have match what we want. Therefore 3 tactics will be explored: (1) changing what we are to what we want to be; (2) changing what we have to what we want; (3) changing what we want. Of these goals, the easiest to reach is actually the 3rd, changing what we want. This 3rd goal, and to some degree the 1st, changing what we are to what we want to be, are based solely on the power of thought; and in the dynamic world of thought, results are immediate and lasting. We use the words valuable, good, useful, etc. to describe the things we want. We think we want something because it is valuable, good or useful. We can change what we want by deciding that something is or is not valuable, is or is not good, and is or is not useful etc. It is important to note that such choices are not arbitrary. It is not wise to declare something valuable when actually it is harmful to you. The second goal (having what you want) can be easy to reach also, depending on what it is you want that you don't now have. In our materialistic culture, many of us automatically think in terms of material objects. We think of getting a new car or a nice house in the suburbs, or even winning the lottery. But what we want doesn't have to be material. We can decide that what we really want is a sense of aliveness, a zest and joy for living, or a sense of serenity and radiant peacefulness. Then we find that there is no need to trade 30 years of life energy and indebtedness - what it takes most of us to achieve our dream of a nice house to live in - in order to achieve joy or serenity. Thoughts, not objects, determine how we feel. Objects are solid and can have a lot of influence over how we perceive ourselves, but it is important to realize that materialistic perception is not the whole story. We must also perceive things in a non-material way if we are to have a complete perception of the world. That way we can escape the cliche which says that "We don't own our things. Our things own us." Once we realize that the only value of the material objects is the feelings they evoke, we can go about the business of identifying the feelings we most want to feel, and then do that which maximizes those feelings. Pursuing physical objects can be a part of a balanced whole, but not the whole itself. It is the first tactic (changing what we are) which requires the most discipline. After we have defined what we want to be (more loving, more compassionate, a better listener, more courageous, more assertive, etc.) we must then actively observe ourselves moment to moment, day after day and be alert to the times when our behavior falls short of our new expectations of who we are. It seems to help to be as concrete as possible when making these self-improvement goals. Rather than simply saying "I will now become a more loving human being", bring it down into the world of specific actions and add to that such possible statements as "I will now smile at the person in front of me while in the supermarket check-out line", or "I will no longer indulge in nagging sarcasms or stern commands with my spouse; I will now phrase all requests and concerns in a way consistent with regard for the feelings of others." It is the authors' belief that happiness is a natural state of being, that once all the blockages and hindrances are removed, happiness is what just naturally bubbles up into our experience.