Values By Kermit Rose If you value winning over fairness, you will find yourself frequently saying " *sigh* well, you win some and you lose some." If you value fairness over winning, you will find yourself frequently saying " *smile* we both won on that deal." If you see other people as sources of problems to you, you will create useless fights for yourself. If you see other people as sources of problem solutions, and sources of opportunities for you to develop your own problem solving abilities, then you will almost always be happy with other people. If you value a relationship over meeting your own needs, then the relationship may weaken because your own needs are not being met. If you value meeting your own needs over a relationship, then your needs may fail to be met because the relationship is weakened. If you value both meeting your own needs and the relationship, neither above the other, then it becomes more likely that you can keep them in balance. If you require that others always be honest, sincere, and trustworthy in all things, then you set yourself up for disappointment. If you always expect that others may be dishonest, insincere and untrustworthy in anything, then you may get what you expect. If you acknowledge the human limitations of people, and seek to know their needs and motivations, then you will not need to worry about their trustworthiness. If you make any particular desire your paramount goal and see situations as barriers, then you will be frequently frustrated. If you modify particular desires depending on the situation, then you will rarely find barriers to your needs.