A P P R O A C H E S    T O    C O N F L I C T



Positional bargaining:  Which game should you play?    
                                


SOFT                      HARD                      PRINCIPLED (SOLUTION)


Participants are          Participants are          Participants are
friends.                  adversaries.              problem solvers.

The goal is               The goal is               The goal is a wise outcome
agreement.                victory.                  reached efficiently and
                                                    amicably.

Make concessions          Demand                    Separate the people from
to cultivate the          concessions as a          the problem.
relationship.             condition of the          
                          relationship.

Be soft on the            Be hard on the            Be soft on the people,
people and the            problem and the           hard on the problem. 
problem.                  people.          

Trust others.             Distrust others.          Proceed independent of 
                                                    trust.

Change your               Dig in to your            Focus on interests, not
position easily.          position.                 positions.

Make offers.              Make threats.             Explore interests.

Disclose your             Mislead as to your        Avoid having a bottom
bottom line.              bottom line.              line.

Accept one-sided          Demand one-sided          Invent options for mutual
losses to reach           gains as the price        gain.
agreement.                of agreement.          

Search for the            Search for the            Develop multiple options
single answer: the        single answer:            to choose from; decide
one THEY will             the one YOU will          later.
accept.                   accept.

Insist on agreement.      Insist on your            Insist on using
                          position.                 objective criteria.

Try to avoid a            Try to win a              Try to reach a result
contest of will.          contest of will.          based on standards 
                                                    independent of will.

Yield to pressure.        Apply pressure.           Reason and be open to 
                                                    reasons; yield to 
                                                    principle, not pressure.


I copied this from a book with the title "Getting to yes."

What do you think of it?

Kermit.